Making an idea isn’t as difficult as your mother says it is. In fact, by following a few easy steps you can overcome your fear of idea creation and make an idea of your very own.
Why come up with an idea? Well, ideas are a great way to get people to do things. Whether you want to make your “target” audience buy a new and improved baby formula or drive that gas guzzling lemon off the lot -- heck, even even if you just want to come up with the “Big Idea” -- an idea can help you get there fast.
1. Collect the raw material.
Despite popular belief, you can’t make an idea out of thin air. An idea is the result of a complex series of chemical reactions occurring between actual, physical objects. If you want to make a real idea, you’ll need to start by obtaining only the best ingredients. There are several methods from which you can choose. For the best results, try a combination of all three.
Hunting and gathering. Yes it is old fashioned, but it works amazingly. Don’t forget to bring a high-powered automatic weapon and a basket. You will be on the prowl for anything from bison and large bucks to walnuts and cranberries. When hunting, don’t forget to cover yourself in urine and wait for your prey to come to you.
Slash and burn. Even if you don’t know what this is, do it any way. If you do it right, you’ll probably procure some interesting foodstuffs. But don’t fret if you just end up destroying everything in your path and moving on.
Shop. Go to your favorite supermarket and feed your wildest desires. Scour the brightly lighted aisles and freezers and fill your cart to the brim. We don’t recommend buying locally or in season, since this can take a toll on your overhead wallet (if you don’t have one these, prayer may help). Try to limit any stealing to a few grapes, for management at most market places tends to be cranky and have long arms that they may flail in moments of intense anger. If there are no stores nearby, use the FreshDirect or PeaPod. Just make sure to order in advance, and don’t forget to tip the delivery men at least a few bucks.
2. Serve and eat.
You don’t want to do this alone because it is incredibly pathetic. Instead, host a tea party. It is important, however, to invite only your imaginary friends. Real friends are hard to come by, often steal recipes and eventually return to their own homes. You want those with whom you share your spoils to return to the inside of your head where they can work together to bring the idea-making process to life. Use disposable paper plates to reduce cleaning time and water waste. It is best to serve buffet style so your guests can mix and match to facilitate a diversity of raw material consumption. And don’t forget the garnish. Presentation is everything.
After you have finished your meal and all the guests have returned to the comfort of their home, take some time for yourself. You deserve it. Go to a movie alone. Take a walk by yourself. Watch hours upon hours of Internet porn. Cry in the shower. Whatever you do, give yourself time to digest. You must keep yourself from thinking about all the weird and terrible things you did to get to this point and just enjoy yourself -- it is integral to successful idea creation.
That’s right, poop. Don't push, just let the idea come out on it's own. And it will. If you have followed steps 1 through 3 properly, there will be plenty coming down the pike and the idea will just ease right out on its own. Remember, it’s important not to force idea creation so as to avoid anal tearing.
5. Show it to the world.
Now it’s time to get out of your own head. At this stage, the idea (poop) has been created. But, chances are, it isn't very good. In fact, it probably stinks. This is normal, and the only way to improve it is to show it to others. Bring it to work, to family gatherings, on dates. Fling it at those who matter to you most -- really toss it around -- and take note of their criticisms. Once they see what you’ve been working on all this time, the people in your life will surely forgive your absenteeism and provide constructive feedback that should help finalize your work. If they don’t react in a positive manner, don’t take it to heart. Just smile and nod, place your idea in your suitcase, take what you’ve learned about yourself and the world to your house and get back to work.