Daily Inspitational #9: Explaining a Person To The Pain (or: Taking The "I" Out of Pain)

Most people assume their pain is a concrete block at the center of their body which can never be moved but only urged and prodded at - and that's okay. It's what we've been taught by our teachers, parents, and parishioners.

Yet, now it is time to break free from the bonds these quacks have put us in. It is time to realize that your pain is a troubled and orphaned adolescent with an abusive foster family.

Yes, you heard me: all pain is roughly thirteen years old with bruises on its arm -- bruises that it claims are from falling down the stairs or bumping into a door knob.

Not only that, your pain can fly. Did you know that your pain soars out of your body across the sky -- and visits neighborhood children while you sleep? With promises of fun and excitement, and trailing fairy dust, he leads them back inside you -- where the real Neverland really does exist.

Yet, just as you didn't know Neverland really, really existed -- inside you or out -- so also does your pain not know that you exist. In order to get any rest from the constant wrenching in your stomach and lungs -- caused by this little boy's playing and dreaming -- you will have to find him, sit him down, and make him believe you are real.

How To Find Him:
Place some duct tape around your tear ducts and go to sleep. When you wake up in the morning, the little boy will be wriggling on your face, stuck in the glue, and trying to get free.

Sitting Him Down:
Rip the tape and the boy off of your face and place him on the floor. This will be much easier if you had the foresight to use double-sided tape.

Making Him Believe You are Real:
If you went out for work one morning, found yourself caught in an enormous trap and then were plucked from the world you know into a wholly other one by an enormous figure that claimed you weren't real but were actually an ephemeral piece of the whole that manifested itself as emotions in someone else much more real than yourself, what would you need them to say to convince and comfort you?

Take a few minutes to write your answer down and simply repeat these words to the little boy again and again until one of you stops breathing.

Celebrate with a scented oil massage.