Recognize the gap
Few businesses ever consider the question of whether it is okay to kill another human being. "What does murder have to do with my business?" you might ask. The answer of course, is "Nothing" -- and that's exactly your problem.
Listen, the world's most successful governments have all grappled with this issue, so why can't you? Why are you wasting time with all those meetings and copy machines -- when you could be stocking your store houses with sickles and guns?
"But I've got a company to run!" you might say, but let's be honest here: no you don't. This is all just hypothetical and you should be grateful I even pretend to believe you might have a company.
So, anyway, this company you don't run? All of its problems stem from one central notion. It boils down to this: the reason your company hasn't been successful while great nations and governments have is because they're killing people and you are not.
Did you know?
People don't just die. No, they are killed. In reality or the "real-life" world, people are immortal. That's a fact. The only way to die is to be murdered. This has been known for centuries but kept under wraps by an enormous group of people who have asked to remain anonymous.
This anonymous group -- mainly financial investors working for Coca-Cola, a small start-up out of Nigeria -- have fashioned a number of effective diseases and ailments. "Old age" is the one they are most proud of and amused by --they can't seem to utter it without just barely stifling a giggle.
These guys have a fantastic racket going that even the smartest and most progressive businesses are now taking note of. When you kill, stocks go up.
The Humanitarian Angle: People don't want to live forever, anyway
If people wanted to live forever, they would, pure and simple.
People are in control of their own lives! This fact has been peer reviewed and vetted by the Union. Unless you want a legal battle with the Union, you better believe people can do whatever they want.
And if they really wanted to live forever so badly, wouldn't they have done it by now? As a matter of fact, no one has ever lived forever. So, clearly no one wants to do this shit.
That's why it's almost charitable when you knock some one's head in with a stick or rock -- you're giving them exactly what they've always wanted but just haven't gotten around to getting yet.
So, the bottom line? Murder is tax deductible.
One man's death...
...is another man's avocado salad. That's right -- if prepared correctly, murder is edible and delicious.
And since murder is an idea, it never goes bad! And you can never run out -- you can just keep eating it and eating and eating it.
And guess what? Company food needs can be subsidized by government grants, so the cost of murder stays low -- and mouthwatering.
Mother Nature prefers it
Across the globe, murder hatcheries are thriving. These death farms allow families of murders to roam freely in open terrain -- terrain where reformed game hunters come from all around to finally do some hunting that doesn't hurt anyone except the people being murdered, but they were going to be murdered anyway -- because they were grown for that express purpose!
Murdering on purpose gives murder a purpose!
But is it moral?
Obviously, yes, but who cares? Forget morality for a second. Instead, I'd like you to think about murder. Picture it in your mind. Say the words, "It is good for my company," and believe them, really, really believe them as hard as you can.
Actually, you don't have to believe anything if you don't want to -- just tell people that you do. That's good enough.
They'll be dead soon anyway.
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